1867-1936, American Journalist, Humorist
A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.
Finley Peter Dunne – [Fanatics and Fanaticism]

A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable.
Finley Peter Dunne – [Lies and Lying]

A man's idea in a game of cards is war, cruel, devastating, and pitiless. A lady's idea of it is a combination of larceny, embezzlement and burglary.
Finley Peter Dunne – [Men and Women]

Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts.
Finley Peter Dunne – [Alcohol and Alcoholism]

Comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.
Finley Peter Dunne – [Motivation]

Don't jump on a man unless he is down.
Finley Peter Dunne – [Conflict]

It don't make much difference what you study, so long as you don't like it.
Finley Peter Dunne – [Education]

Most vegetarians I ever see looked enough like their food to be classed as cannibals.
Finley Peter Dunne – [Vegetarianism]

One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need the money the most, are the ones that never have it.
Finley Peter Dunne – [Poverty and The Poor]

The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.
Finley Peter Dunne – [Bachelor]

The past always looks better than it was because it isn't here.
Finley Peter Dunne – [Past]

The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better — it is just turning around as usual.
Finley Peter Dunne – [World]

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.
Finley Peter Dunne – [Trust]

Vice is a creature of such hideous mien… that the more you see it the better you like it.
Finley Peter Dunne – [Vice]