A brilliant epigram is a solemn platitude gone to a masquerade ball.

A caricature is putting the face of a joke on the body of a truth.

A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.

A humorist is a person who feels bad, but who feels good about it.

A jest often decides matters of importance more effectual and happily than seriousness.

A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.

A person who knows how to laugh at himself will never ceased to be amused.

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs-jolted by every pebble in the road.

A poor joke must invent its own laughter.

A rich man's joke is always funny.

All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I'd be standing on the breadline right in back of J. Edgar Hoover.

Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh.

An inexhaustible good nature is one of the most precious gifts of heaven, spreading itself like oil over the troubled sea of thought, and keeping the mind smooth and equable in the roughest weather.

Any discussion of the problems of being funny in America will not make sense unless we substitute the word wit for humor. Humor inspires sympathetic good-natured laughter and is favored by the ''healing-power'' gang. Wit goes for the jugular, not the jocular, and it's the opposite of football; instead of building character, it tears it down.

Any man who has had the job I've had and didn't have a sense of humor wouldn't still be here.

Anyone without a sense of humor is at the mercy of everyone else.

As a person is so must you humor them.

Be simple in words, manners, and gestures. Amuse as well as instruct. If you can make a man laugh, you can make him think and make him like and believe you.

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.

By blood a king, in heart a clown.

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